Thorns of Love

I was inspired by my long time friend Kim to create a blog.I had been debating about this forever and finally decided to try it. After spending hours on the phone with my friends,writing and praying I realized that life is an endless journey. Something very simple but today it really hit me. I'm graduating college in 2 months (praise break) and job searching is no joke. As I look around me I began to feel like life had in a sense passed me by, like I wasn't riding this journey of life just scooting as it took me on twists and turns. My friends were becoming parents and homeowners, they were planning weddings or already married and they were stable in what they were doing in life while I was just beginning....while taking a break from my job hunt Floetry's "Sometimes You Make Me Smile" came on and the memories it brought back were bittersweet. That particular street in my life's journey was now a sad one but this had become my favorite song for the very same reason that I now teared up every time I heard it. The song is everything music is meant to be...it's passionate, romantic, smooth, sensual and has depth. Poetry infused with melodic harmonies. It's the perfect song to describe my last encounter with love...in the beginning she is in search of love without even realizing it at first. Questioning where is this one who can bring so much joy, sunshine,etc and then upon a chance meeting realizes that the answers to all her questions were wrapped up in one person, the person becoming her reasoning for smiling. After beginning to know this person she stops questioning because everything feels right and as the intimacy and tempo picks up I realized that in this love's tale I began to fall heavy and fast, ignoring things I heard and just trusting that this person (my reason for smiling) was everything I had prayed for in a man. The ending was so suttle as the artist admits she cries from missing her light. All the love she had is now gone and without any notice. While friends try to provide comfort and distractions when I was alone all I thought about was the feeling of emptiness and betrayal....in the silence I too cried and with each tear a memory came to my mind. First kiss, first meeting, date nights, poetry and me just being so raw and honest only to be left without any answers. But rather than deleting this song that I fell in love with from my play list I turned it up even louder and this time as the memories replayed not a teardrop fell and some memories actually made me smile. Looking back I had become stronger through this and at the end of the day I am happy with what I did in the situation. And I was grateful because for that amount of time I had found someone to make me smile for no reason at all, for just thinking about him or saying his name and that was something I hadn't experienced in a long time. And with that as the song ended rather than becoming sad I grew hopeful and knew that one day someone else would be making smile for the same reasons but this time I would be their reason for smiling as well. Keeping in the mind the famous love quote " Always remember when it comes to love, if you want to have the beautiful rose, you need to accept the thorns around it". Was he my rose...no did I get pricked...HELL YEAH but I still love roses! That experience didn't break me because that man didn't make me into the woman I have become and my love (like my real love) will be there just for me and through getting pricked and sampling someone else's "rose" I now have a greater appreciation for what love truly is and I look forward to receiving my rose...thorns and all *Smile*